James Cameron's "The Last Avatar"

I'm breaking a long hiatus from the blogging businazz to review a movie I have yet to see, James Cameron's "Avatar." The movie has been highly anticipated for some since 1999, which is when Cameron originally intended to release it, but he claimed that the technology simply did not exist to carry out his vision for the film... so he pushed it back a decade. Actually in 2005 it was announced that Cameron was working on a project titled "Project 880" alongside another project of his called "Battle Angel." He was hoping to release "Battle Angel" in 2007 and "Project 880" in 2009. Then he changed his mind and decided to release "Project 880" in 2007 and "Battle Angel" in 2009. Then he announced that "Project 880" is actually a revamped version of "Avatar" and may be released as late as 2008. Well hello May 22, 2009, you will be the day that this film will finally be released... except that Cameron wanted to have an extra 7 months to use for post production work. Well hello December 18, 2009, hopefully you will be the final release date of this highly procrastinated anticipated film. Diving into the movie itself (again I have not seen this film, but I will not be 1-upped by Roger Ebert), the story is about as hard to follow as the history of the movie, everybody looks like a smurf with big ears, and if the movie is anything like the video game, the controls are horrible (I have not played the game either). From what I understand about the movie, the main character (the Avatar) has the power to control the four elements and has to use this power to stop the trees from releasing a gas that causes everyone to commit suicide in gruesome and horrible ways (I may be confusing this with the works of M. Night Shyamalan... Mark Walburg's acting in "The Happening" made me want to commit suicide). The Avatar lives in the world of Pandora that lets you build your own radio station based on only the music that you like. The movie is set to be released in stereoscopic 3D, so if the story is a complete failure, people will still think it was cool because it was like a roller coaster. I plan on seeing the movie this weekend, unless of course they put it on hold for another ten years.

I do want to take a moment and apologize to my fans for not posting anything for a while, but like James Cameron, I too am waiting for the technology to make my blog fulfill my vision, and I simply cannot do that without a computer to write clever things for me. Unfortunately computers still don't have real humor programming, so I'll just have to wait until they do before I can be really creative and regularly post on my blog.